either way seems as though it will end in failure
Lord, make me stronger.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Living My Strengths
A week or so ago, Steve gave me a book entitled "Living Your Strengths" which is deigned to help pinpoint what one's strengths are and how they can better utilize them. It's in reaction to the mind set that rather than trying to make up for weaknesses, it's better to embrace what you're already naturally gifted at and use that to it's fullest. I'd like to say that I've read it and have a very good handle on all of it, but alas, I have not read through all of it yet, but I did however take the quiz to identify what my five most prevalent strengths are. And they are as follows:
Input
You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information—words, facts, books, and quotations—or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away. Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when or why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don’t feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.
Adaptability
You live in the moment. You don’t see the future as a fixed destination. Instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now. And so you discover your future one choice at a time. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have plans. You probably do. But this theme of Adaptability does enable you to respond willingly to the demands of the moment even if they pull you away from your plans. Unlike some, you don’t resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. You expect them. They are inevitable. Indeed, on some level you actually look forward to them. You are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once.
Intellection
You like to think. You like mental activity. You like exercising the “muscles” of your brain, stretching them in multiple directions. This need for mental activity may be focused; for example, you may be trying to solve a problem or develop an idea or understand another person’s feelings. The exact focus will depend on your other strengths. On the other hand, this mental activity may very well lack focus. The theme of Intellection does not dictate what you are thinking about; it simply describes that you like to think. You are the kind of person who enjoys your time alone because it is your time for musing and reflection. You are introspective. In a sense you are your own best companion, as you pose yourself questions and try out answers on yourself to see how they sound. This introspection may lead you to a slight sense of discontent as you compare what you are actually doing with all the thoughts and ideas that your mind conceives. Or this introspection may tend toward more pragmatic matters such as the events of the day or a conversation that you plan to have later. Wherever it leads you, this mental hum is one of the constants of your life.
Connectedness
Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.
Developer
You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth—a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or of “flow” where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments—invisible to some—are clear signs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you out for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.
Hopefully I'll get some time soon to read more of the book and garner a better idea of how exactly I can use these talents to their fullest.
Input
You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information—words, facts, books, and quotations—or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away. Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when or why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don’t feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.
Adaptability
You live in the moment. You don’t see the future as a fixed destination. Instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now. And so you discover your future one choice at a time. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have plans. You probably do. But this theme of Adaptability does enable you to respond willingly to the demands of the moment even if they pull you away from your plans. Unlike some, you don’t resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. You expect them. They are inevitable. Indeed, on some level you actually look forward to them. You are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once.
Intellection
You like to think. You like mental activity. You like exercising the “muscles” of your brain, stretching them in multiple directions. This need for mental activity may be focused; for example, you may be trying to solve a problem or develop an idea or understand another person’s feelings. The exact focus will depend on your other strengths. On the other hand, this mental activity may very well lack focus. The theme of Intellection does not dictate what you are thinking about; it simply describes that you like to think. You are the kind of person who enjoys your time alone because it is your time for musing and reflection. You are introspective. In a sense you are your own best companion, as you pose yourself questions and try out answers on yourself to see how they sound. This introspection may lead you to a slight sense of discontent as you compare what you are actually doing with all the thoughts and ideas that your mind conceives. Or this introspection may tend toward more pragmatic matters such as the events of the day or a conversation that you plan to have later. Wherever it leads you, this mental hum is one of the constants of your life.
Connectedness
Things happen for a reason. You are sure of it. You are sure of it because in your soul you know that we are all connected. Yes, we are individuals, responsible for our own judgments and in possession of our own free will, but nonetheless we are part of something larger. Some may call it the collective unconscious. Others may label it spirit or life force. But whatever your word of choice, you gain confidence from knowing that we are not isolated from one another or from the earth and the life on it. This feeling of Connectedness implies certain responsibilities. If we are all part of a larger picture, then we must not harm others because we will be harming ourselves. We must not exploit because we will be exploiting ourselves. Your awareness of these responsibilities creates your value system. You are considerate, caring, and accepting. Certain of the unity of humankind, you are a bridge builder for people of different cultures. Sensitive to the invisible hand, you can give others comfort that there is a purpose beyond our humdrum lives. The exact articles of your faith will depend on your upbringing and your culture, but your faith is strong. It sustains you and your close friends in the face of life’s mysteries.
Developer
You see the potential in others. Very often, in fact, potential is all you see. In your view no individual is fully formed. On the contrary, each individual is a work in progress, alive with possibilities. And you are drawn toward people for this very reason. When you interact with others, your goal is to help them experience success. You look for ways to challenge them. You devise interesting experiences that can stretch them and help them grow. And all the while you are on the lookout for the signs of growth—a new behavior learned or modified, a slight improvement in a skill, a glimpse of excellence or of “flow” where previously there were only halting steps. For you these small increments—invisible to some—are clear signs of potential being realized. These signs of growth in others are your fuel. They bring you strength and satisfaction. Over time many will seek you out for help and encouragement because on some level they know that your helpfulness is both genuine and fulfilling to you.
Hopefully I'll get some time soon to read more of the book and garner a better idea of how exactly I can use these talents to their fullest.
Friday, July 11, 2008
there was no thief
For a time I thought there was a thief among us
I thought I'd track him down but prior to my pursuit
The smoke it cleared into my disbelief
There was no thief
Cause it was me that lost you
There was no thief
Cause it was me that lost you
I guess it's safe to say you're never coming back
And I understand why you wouldn't want to
I guess it's up to me to find a way to get to you
And there's just one last thing that I have to say
As we reflect on the mess of all of this I've made
It was cowardice that made me push you away
I was so afraid cause you were so much better than me
I can't see you
Getting used to
Living in the midst of your perfection
And I'm so lost
How can you trust
Somewhere the sun is always shining
And there's just one last thing that I have to say
As we reflect on the mess of all of this I've made
It was cowardice that made me push you away
I was so afraid cause you were so much better than me
I guess it's safe to say you're never coming back
I thought I'd track him down but prior to my pursuit
The smoke it cleared into my disbelief
There was no thief
Cause it was me that lost you
There was no thief
Cause it was me that lost you
I guess it's safe to say you're never coming back
And I understand why you wouldn't want to
I guess it's up to me to find a way to get to you
And there's just one last thing that I have to say
As we reflect on the mess of all of this I've made
It was cowardice that made me push you away
I was so afraid cause you were so much better than me
I can't see you
Getting used to
Living in the midst of your perfection
And I'm so lost
How can you trust
Somewhere the sun is always shining
And there's just one last thing that I have to say
As we reflect on the mess of all of this I've made
It was cowardice that made me push you away
I was so afraid cause you were so much better than me
I guess it's safe to say you're never coming back
There Was No Thief
Relient K
When I saw the title of this song on the album, my heart gave a little skip. Could this really be a follow up to The Thief from the Apathetic EP?
Yes, it is a follow-up.
And it's amazing. And wonderful. And perfect.
Though my brain switched from words to storyboards, so I'm not sure what that's going to mean.
Friday, July 4, 2008
Independence Day
I'm greatly looking forward to a very relaxing day with the Johnson's and just generally chilling.
I'm very grateful for how they've seemed to adopt me in a sense. That they let me hang out their house and just generally let me a small part of their lives by sharing with me.
They're modeling the type of home I would someday love to have. A place where people are welcome to come over and just enjoy life. It's such an easy way to love people and to honor God.
I was reading John the other day and I was thinking about how God perceives humans, and I wonder if we ever surprise him. Now I know that this raises all sorts of possible debates about sovereignty, free will, God's omniscient nature, and the such, but I'm curious as to where humanity's ability to be surprised came from.
I think surprise can be broken into two types of surprise - delight and shock. Delight will be that surprise that gives you joy, maybe it fulfills a hope in a way you were expecting. Shock is when you are beside yourself (it could be positive or negative), and something really just hits you from out of the blue. Maybe there are other types of surprise, but those have been the ones I've been thinking about this week.
Maybe sometimes surprise is the result of having no pre-established expectations. If you expect something and then it comes to pass, are you surprised that it happened (maybe though you could still be surprised at how it happened)?
I'm not sure what in John triggered this (maybe that John paints Jesus as experiencing all these emotions, and as Jesus was the perfect man he would have felt all the human emotions, and as Jesus the son, maybe he felt surprised sometimes, which then it made me think if God the father ever experienced surprise).
It's funny though because for all the possible debate it could stir up, whether or not God is surprised or not isn't something to get hung up on. It's just something I wondered, and either way, it doesn't stop God from being God.
I'm very grateful for how they've seemed to adopt me in a sense. That they let me hang out their house and just generally let me a small part of their lives by sharing with me.
They're modeling the type of home I would someday love to have. A place where people are welcome to come over and just enjoy life. It's such an easy way to love people and to honor God.
I was reading John the other day and I was thinking about how God perceives humans, and I wonder if we ever surprise him. Now I know that this raises all sorts of possible debates about sovereignty, free will, God's omniscient nature, and the such, but I'm curious as to where humanity's ability to be surprised came from.
I think surprise can be broken into two types of surprise - delight and shock. Delight will be that surprise that gives you joy, maybe it fulfills a hope in a way you were expecting. Shock is when you are beside yourself (it could be positive or negative), and something really just hits you from out of the blue. Maybe there are other types of surprise, but those have been the ones I've been thinking about this week.
Maybe sometimes surprise is the result of having no pre-established expectations. If you expect something and then it comes to pass, are you surprised that it happened (maybe though you could still be surprised at how it happened)?
I'm not sure what in John triggered this (maybe that John paints Jesus as experiencing all these emotions, and as Jesus was the perfect man he would have felt all the human emotions, and as Jesus the son, maybe he felt surprised sometimes, which then it made me think if God the father ever experienced surprise).
It's funny though because for all the possible debate it could stir up, whether or not God is surprised or not isn't something to get hung up on. It's just something I wondered, and either way, it doesn't stop God from being God.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
the broken record
So willfully I subject myself to these hopes.
Why can't I let my brain take control?
Why does my heart do this?
Doesn't it learn?
Doesn't it remember?
I need Psalms.
Why can't I let my brain take control?
Why does my heart do this?
Doesn't it learn?
Doesn't it remember?
I need Psalms.
Friday, June 20, 2008
resolute
Tomorrow (though I guess technically given the hour, later today) I am going to get my tattoo.
More so, I will be going by myself, which is probably fitting anyway.
It would be nice and beyond wonderful to have a hand to hold, and as for much as I would like there to be a hand to hold, I don't need a hand to hold.
This acknowledgment is an acknowledgment of truth. Truth that makes me a little bit sad, because I feel like I will be sealing a fate tomorrow.
Oh, how I like those symbolic gestures and rituals of hidden meaning.
And ample vagueness.
More so, I will be going by myself, which is probably fitting anyway.
It would be nice and beyond wonderful to have a hand to hold, and as for much as I would like there to be a hand to hold, I don't need a hand to hold.
This acknowledgment is an acknowledgment of truth. Truth that makes me a little bit sad, because I feel like I will be sealing a fate tomorrow.
Oh, how I like those symbolic gestures and rituals of hidden meaning.
And ample vagueness.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
the night I ripped the teal bracelet off
I just ripped the teal bracelet off. It was harder than I thought and it even hurt a little.
Me and my symbolic gestures. Even if they only hold meaning to me, at least it's absence will remind me.
Why don't I learn? I should be a cynic ten times over, but no, I keep going.
Is there a point where hope in a hopeless situation becomes a liability?
It stings a little, but I know that I'll be right back in this same place again and again, even if I try to avoid it, it won't let me. It's the same course I've followed time and time again.
Me and my symbolic gestures. Even if they only hold meaning to me, at least it's absence will remind me.
Why don't I learn? I should be a cynic ten times over, but no, I keep going.
Is there a point where hope in a hopeless situation becomes a liability?
It stings a little, but I know that I'll be right back in this same place again and again, even if I try to avoid it, it won't let me. It's the same course I've followed time and time again.
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