Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Who I Am Hates Who I've Been

The key to writing is to simply do it. Though I suppose to the key to just about anything is to do it. If you are a firefighter it because you fight fires. If you are a chef is because you prepare meals. So if you are a writer, you should be writing.

I call myself a writer, yet I find myself shrugging off the actual responsibility of writing.

That is changing. I'm going to find my voice and tell the stories that have been building up. Stories of love, and adventure, and daring, and good fighting evil, because these are the stories I cherish and want others to come to love as well.

They are my stories in that they declare what is true of my heart, the core of what I am.

I just need to the courage to tell them. I want the courage, I want to share, but I still find myself intimidated by the prospect, the vulnerability of putting those stories out there for others to form opinions of. Those stories are an extension of my heart; so a story ill-received is a heart ill-received.

The stories easiest to tell are the ones that I have lived for myself. Not exactly event for event, or word for word, but the emotions that are conveyed; the struggles that are conquered or yielded to.

I'm still looking for all the right words to tell the story of betrayal...the story where she feels betrayed only to discover that in actuality it was she that did the deceiving. The stories of paradox. Those stories speak to me, that just fall in on themselves, because there is seldom ever a straight line. Things are folded over, here and there, and several times over.

It all fits together and I want to help put things as they should, I just need to figure out how.

And there is also something to be said for being both clear and concise, and habit I am still in need of developing...