eponine's lament

This past weekend was Mar's bachelorette party, which was basically a night out in New Hope accompanied by a scavenger hunt.

I've really got to let go of my need to win, as when it was determined that I was no longer in the lead with points, I went after a high scoring item: five hand written philosophies (from guys) regarding marriage. I had secured one earlier in the evening as a way to pass the time waiting for dinner to be served, and I saw opportunity present itself when in came a group of three girls and four guys, all of which were pretty approachable looking (no small feat in New Hope).

So I grabbed a stack of cocktail napkins from the bar and broke into their circle of conversation, readily making myself entertainment fodder for the gaggle of girls at the next table over.

Three of them got to work at once on their napkins, but the fourth was hesitant, and even distanced himself from the rest of the group as he thought his answer out. I started up conversation with one of the girls who happened to be sitting next me, asking general questions about how everyone in the group was connected, etc, and she mentioned that she was curious as to how they were responding to my request.

I offered her the three napkins I already had gotten back, and mentioned how I was still waiting for one more. Her response was that the one I was waiting for was the one she was most interested in. I asked if he was her boyfriend. She unapologetically answered, "No, but I'm hoping."

Mr. Hesitation ended up stirring up lots of interest the rest of the night.

After receiving such a blunt, honest response from this girl, I wanted to remove myself from the group, so I went over to him to see if I could just get a quick sentence scribbled down and be on my way. It was his hook.

The next three hours we ended up having a few more conversations.
His name is Greg.
Abbey, in a very un-Abbey manner point blank asks for his number.
Lisa keeps threatening me that I need to go over and talk to him more.

But I felt guilty.

The nameless, hopeful girl reminded me too much of me, and I didn't want to do that to her.

I've always identified with Eponine, the girl in the wings, hoping that one day, Marius would take notice and realize how much he loves her in return. And I think that eventually Marius would have taken notice of Eponine and loved her, but Cosette entered the picture ending all hope Eponine had and essentially dooming her.

Just one more day on her own.